A Poem - Perhaps the Reason Why I'm Still Single

Originally Written in Early 2005

There will be no “good-night” tonight

No “I love you,” or salutations

Such as “honey” or “sweetie” or “darling”

There will no longer be a need

Or a want…or, a desire

To share a common space

Clothed or naked, tonight

Tomorrow or…evermore!

There will no longer be a trust

Or, an understanding…or, a care

As to how things were, or will ever be

There will never be a time, a place

Or, a meal shared together

A movie, a ballgame

Even time with our friends

Either yours or mine

There will be no more lies

No more excuses or aversions

To my issues as you play out yours!

There will be no more tolerance

To your so-called love for me

You say you love me

I did, and then you blew it!

Now leave me alone!

Honoring an Influence: Richard Pryor 1940-2005

Originally Posted on December 11, 2005

On Saturday, December 10, 2005, the world lost a great voice and influence in comedy. He certainly influenced me in a lot of ways. Before we get into the reasons why Richard Pryor influenced me as a younger writer, let me have you peek into his world a bit. This happens to be one of my favorite routines of his.

"You ever heard?  The (bleep) had the biggest dicks in the world and they were trying to find a place where they could have their contest, see.  And they wasn't no freaks; they didn't want everybody looking.  So they were walking around, looking for a secret place.  So they were walking across the Golden Gate Bridge and the (bleep) sees that water and it makes him want to piss, see.  One said, 'Man, I got to take a leak.'  He pulled his thing out and was pissing.  Other (bleep) pulled his out and took a piss.  And one (bleep) says, 'Goddamn, this water cold.'  Other (bleep) says, 'Yeah, and it's deep, too.'"

Pride 2005

Originally Posted on June, 2005

First off, I want to thank the North Country Bears for having me read yesterday at their booth at the Twin Cities' Pride Celebration. The crowd and the club was very supportive through the heat and the screaming huckster across the way. NCB Board Member Kevin Vales predicted that I would have dreams of a woman repeatedly screaming "three balls for a dollar!" Not yet, Kev!

I was nervous at first, but loosened up towards the end of the short set. One of the problems I encountered was that I am unable to project my voice. For someone who was known to having a loud voice, yes, this is unusual. Perhaps this is why I don't do well in the theatre. Maybe next time, we'll have to get a microphone and a small PA set.

Yesterday's reading was concluded by this special poem celebrating Pride and Gen-X Bears' 10th Anniversary. Take a gander...and Happy Pride everyone!

It's All In The Marketing

Originally Posted on June, 2005

The last thing any artist would want to talk about is marketing. Normally, the publisher does all of that. However, when the artist also has experience in publicity and writing press releases, guess who does a chunk of the marketing?

Lions, Tigers, Bears, Chubs, Chasers...Oh My!

Originally Posted in September, 2007

What transpired this weekend energized my soul. It was an amazing experience.

What happened? To explain, Minneapolis was the annual stop for the Affiliated Big Men’s annual confab, Convergence. This is where gay and bisexual men of large size and the ones of like them get together for a weekend of fun and camaraderie.

Originally, I had planned to sell Autumnbridge Media’s collection of books there. After thinking it over, I backed out. Instead, I thought about doing something in a form of a seminar. That also did not work out for me. A lot of this had to do with the timing of my first class at St. Mary’s (MN) and the request on the syllabus to read some chapters in preparation for Tuesday’s initial class meeting.

Luckily, I was able to accomplish my reading in time to heed the call of a couple of online friends visiting for Convergence.

Wow!

Originally Posted on May, 2007

It was an amazing night! Lori and I made it so by switching places and keeping the evening lively. Andrea Jenkins, one of the curators of the GLBT Reading Series at SASE, was completely blown away. Well…so was I.

The highlight of the evening came when I was asked by Lori to read a piece from her short story compilation, Stepping Out: Short Stories. It was a letter from a father to his lesbian daughter on the occasion of the birth of his grandchild. It was a cold reading done in the voice of what I call a “typical Minnesota father.” Frankly, I was amazed I pulled this reading off.

I do not teach any classes on writing or spoken word performance, but I can pass along one thing to anyone who reads this blog: if you write something read it out loud! When you do, find the voice that reads in the way it should be delivered! Lastly, see how your voice can be flexible to use a different inflection, tone, accent, octave…etc…as long as it is not false to your audience.

Oh yeah, and characters exist in poetry…not just in mine!

Thanks to those who came out and attended this event! Until next year…somewhere…

2006 Madison 'Zine Fest is a Wrap!

Originally Posted in October, 2006

Our return to Madison ‘Zine Fest was a very successful trip. Scott Schumacher and Autumnbridge Media had plenty to offer with our four titles (including my two) and other ‘zines published by the Minnesota AIDS Project’s Pride Alive program. We received a lot of great feedback on everything we brought to Madison, including the Pride Alive ‘zines. I’m certain that Michael Lee at Pride Alive would be happy to read that every copy of Outsight and Shameless was gone that day and he has requests for more to be sent to two organizations back in Madison.

Christopher Wilde of the Queer Zine Archives Project led a roundtable on the history and purpose of Queer ‘Zines. Scott and I contributed along with a good cross-section of the community. It was great to see Chris, Milo from QZAP, Mara Williams from KDVS in Davis, Calif., Billy from Loop Distro in Chicago, Joe from Microcosm Publishing in Portland, Ore. and the other zinesters from last year.

"Speak Your Word" Open Mic: Mission Accomplished

Originally Posted on June, 2006

Tonight's Open Mic at the Open Book center was absolutely amazing! The collaboration with the Twin Cities gay men's Writer's Group, The Loft and Pride Alive resulted in a quality evening for all who attended and participated.

Among the highlights, local spoken word artist Kevin "Kaoz" Moore simply blazed the stage! So did other spoken word artists Michael Antonio Bosch, Wonder Dave, Rev. Pat D. ...well, everyone rocked! If you want to know these new faces of the literati, check 'em out at various spoken word events around The Cities! We also got a good mix of poetry, prose and non-fiction from the rest of the participants.

There was a great prose by Laura Lively, the only woman on tonight's program, about a polyamory situation that was fantastic! During intermission, I informed her that "polyamory was the new black." She cracked up!

Back From The 2005 Madison 'Zine Fest

Originally Posted in October, 2005

The most successful promotion of The Boy From Reseda happened over this weekend in Madison, Wisconsin. Not only has the book caught the eye of several people in Madison; it has also got some people interested beyond the place.  Sunday night's reading at Motherfools was unbelieveable! We had a great mix of readers joining me onstage and the material was incredibly amazing! There was a lot of love in the room, not only for the readers, but for The Boy From Reseda. I felt I had my best performance of my work ever.

The "Soundtrack" for The Boy from Reseda

Originally Posted in June, 2005

As some of you know, music has always influenced everything I've done. When I was writing the poems that are a part of The Boy from Reseda, there were certain songs that popped in my mind when these poems were written out.

If there was a soundtrack available as an accompaniment to the book, it would include these following songs:

YOU! I Want To Take You To A...

Originally Posted in June, 2005

The bar is a common place in gay society. A place one knows to go to find other people like themselves for a night out of fun and debauchery.

Every city, large town and a few suburbs has a gay bar. Some are not as obvious as others, but once you find it, it is a piece of paradise for a night. Or, it could be hell for a few moments more than usual.

In my travels, I've wound up at some bar somewhere. I must admit that I had a few wild times in those lovely taverns, especially where men of my subculture are present. An errant circle around the place...a promenade of the fresh meat available for the night. Checking out what's on the walls, human or otherwise. Some just stand and pose; others smile, wave, nod and even say the magic word: "woof."

A Tale of Two Coming of Age Poems

Originally Posted in June, 2005

As part of theme of The Boy From Reseda, I wanted to explore back to the times when I had a feeling that I would be gay. The moment of puberty where you start to figure out what is natural versus what is expected.

The idea created two poems addressing the theme of self-discovery. They share a common trait where the discovery of one's own sexual identity is tied into the setting of school. Junior High (or Middle School in most places) is a terrible place to live through. You have two options: survive or succeed. Success are for those who are self-assured in puberty and are ready for high school. Survival are those who can make it out alive with all of their limbs and capacities in tact.

Not Your Typical Day At The Grocery Store

Originally Posted in June, 2005

I recently created some poems that reflected a local flavor to my newly adopted hometown. The Cities, also known as the Twin Cities or, to be more specific, Minneapolis and Saint Paul, has a lot of flavor for a place primarily known for its winters. I can see a lot of the places I've been throughout my years here. This is perhaps why I truly feel comfortable being a resident here. It's been a long time since I can honestly say that.

One of the poems talk about a rather unusual trip to a grocery store in the area, "The Rainbow on Arcade." Let me say right off that the title alone is not a code. Let me explain...

Welcome To Reseda, Dude!

Originally Posted in June, 2005

Throughout the process of doing the book, people were curious as to the meanings of places and events. I was quite prepared for those questions.

For example, in my first poem of the book, "Welcome to Reseda," I gave a quick tour of of my hometown through three decades. Sadly, I should've done more research. I referenced a place called Incognito, a bar on Reseda Boulevard near Sherman Way at the heart of Reseda. After searching through the web, it looks like the bar's name has since changed to Bananas. I figured to leave the old bar's name there as a last personal memory of Reseda: the discovery of a gay nightlife blocks away from where I grew up years after I left.

Where Does it All Come From?

Originally Posted in June, 2005

Back in March, I was at the North Country Bears Bar Night at Trickx in Saint Paul when a friend announced that he wanted to do a reading of one of my poems at my release event for The Boy From Reseda.

At first, I was taken aback and tried to discourage him from doing so.

Then, I thought about it. He picked a poem that I have read a few times over the years and I can see him interpreting it to the humor and the situation it is set. Having someone read a piece and give it their spin on the meaning of the poem is actually what this is all about.