If "The Play's The Thing," Then Explain All of This to Me?

Originally Posted on May 31, 2008

When I was younger, we had soundtracks from musicals from Broadway and film at the house. I listened to them. I recalled a few of them. I think the last musical I wanted to see was A Chorus Line at the Schubert Theater in Century City.

That was the early 1980’s.

Today, musical theater is not my forte. Ask me about Wicked and I’ll give you a blank stare. Avenue Q I might see, but I wouldn’t pay Broadway prices to do so. Otherwise, I am disconnected from the world of musical theater.


Plays are a different story. Back then, I wanted to see Equus with Richard Burton as the psychologist and Tom Hulce as the kid infatuated with horses. They played at the Ahmanson Theater at the Music Center in Downtown Los Angeles in the late 1970’s…right before Edward James Olmos starred in Zoot Suit, catapulting his career right towards Battlestar Galactica.

There is a revival of Equus that is supposedly coming stateside starring Daniel Radcliffe as the horse-loving child. That’s right…Harry Potter! Did you know that Radcliffe appears naked on stage in a scene with a wooden horse? Harry Potter…nude! Love trail and all!

I’m not sure if I pay to see Harry Potter nude in a play I happen to like.

The latest stage news came from right in my own backyard this week. The Guthrie Theater is opening a musical version of Little House on the Prairie. Interestingly enough, this happens to be one of my favorite television shows of all time. Why? Well, before I figured out my own sexuality, I actually had a crush on Melissa Gilbert. Yes, Half-Pint! Laura Ingalls Wilder herself!

Gilbert has become quite the accomplished actress and advocate for the acting profession. She was a two-term president of the Screen Actors Guild among her accomplishments. Her second marriage continues with Bruce Boxleitner…Captain Sheridan from Babylon 5! 

If anyone is wondering whether 44-year-old Gilbert will play Half-Pint again, forget it. She is playing Ma. Karen Grassle’s role on the TV show!

In the mortal words of the late Anna Russell: “I’m not making this up, you know!” 

Of course, one would wonder if her husband would be playing Michael Landon’s old role of Pa. No. Try a guy who played for eight years in Beauty and The Beast that I never heard of before…unless I was completely into musical theater. Oh, and someone else much younger than Gilbert will play Half-Pint,

If you must see this thing, it will begin on July 26 with previews at the Guthrie in downtown Minneapolis. Opening night is August 15. Tickets go in sale June 27…during Pride Week here.

Speaking of which, if any of you try to take my gay card away for being snarky and uninterested in musical theater, don’t even think about it! At least give my some credit for a couple of Sci-Fi references, OK?

However, if you offer me a ticket to the production and you’re asking me out for a date…I might consider it. But, my gay card…heed the words of En Vogue: “You never gonna get it!”

Incidentally, En Vogue will be performing at Pride here in Minneapolis. I figured I’d throw that out to everyone…