"Let Get Some Shoes! Let's Party!"

Originally Posted on February 13, 2008


Liam Sullivan is the smartest guy in the entertainment business. This guy from Tarzana (just next to Reseda, BTW) took a comedy act, dressed himself as a nerdy alternagirl and made a video about a shopping addiction to shoes. A million-plus hits later on YouTube and you have a makings of a star! Margaret Cho came knocking…as VH-1 followed along. Millions of fans, including segments of the Bear community, became fans of Kelly and Liam.

Back to that video…shoes. It may be easy for Kelly/Liam to enjoy the rush of buying a $300 pair of them, but not this ordinary guy. You see…it’s not that I can’t justify spending $300 for a pair of shoes, even if it’s my size.

I am a big foot. I wear USA Men’s size 14…regular width. Yeah, you can get shoes my size in most places, but finding one that fits is another issue entirely. Let alone a pair that’s comfortable and provide traction on crappy surfaces.


To compound this challenge, my Type II Diabetes condition places an emphasis on foot health. If you no longer can feel your feet, say “good-bye” to ‘em! Luckily, I am not even near the stage where this is a reality, however the doctors will tell you to find a comfortable pair to wear so you can prolong the health of your feet.

Obviously, Kelly has it made.

So has Brown Group Retail, the parent company of the Famous Footwear stores, got me as a sucker? Well, I can certainly find some good shoes from them. I still own a couple of pairs of Reebok running shoes that I use to knob around. Their soles are good enough to tackle the snow and wet and they do last a long time. These pups are my most comfortable shoes! They are now joined by a new pair of black Nike Air Tri-D runners for some commutes. They’re warm in winter and grip very nicely. They are beginning to feel comfortable…a rarity for Nikes with me.

Then, there’s a special pair of black Clark’s for occasions of partying and looking nice. If I want to be cool, my latest pair of Doc Marten’s work. They’re not the boots you associate with skinheads, but a cool brown pair with its patented soft sole that is amazing in winter! At work, I store a pair of black Sketchers slip-on dress shoes for the office. I rarely go outside with them…and they do need a polish and a cleaning.

Six pairs of shoes. Not exactly Imelda Marcos, but each pair has their purpose. As Carson Kressley pointed out in “Queer Eye,” you do need a pair of black and brown shoes each. That’s for starters! I will also the need for an athletic shoe at your disposal as a comfortable way to get active. I live by the rule of “looks are one thing; comfort, durability and purpose is above all.” This mantra works out well for a big foot like me.

Now, being a big foot attracts some interesting scenarios. Foot fetishers, for example. Granted I have an acquaintance that is into feet, but I have to admit my fear of someone I do not know who declares that I have the Jeff Stryker of feet and fantasize about my feet…not me, in total, but my bloody feet…every chance they get! To those have perverted thoughts about my size 14 USA Men’s size 14 feet, you better be in a relationship with me (and I better like you beyond your foot fetish) to want these dogs!

Let’s face it…it’s not easy being a big foot. You’d think I’d ski along the paths around the Theodore Wirth Golf Course along with the rest of the Nordic skiers. You’d think I’d have no problem wedging my feet into the footwells of every car on the road. That’s except for a Chevrolet Corvette.

But, no, I’m a “normal human being” who puts one foot in front of the other and knows the value of wearing footwear for my health and well-being. Unlike, Kelly...not Liam, but Kelly this time…

Oh, and let’s not get me started on “Let me borrow that top!”