A Tale of Two Coming of Age Poems

Originally Posted in June, 2005

As part of theme of The Boy From Reseda, I wanted to explore back to the times when I had a feeling that I would be gay. The moment of puberty where you start to figure out what is natural versus what is expected.

The idea created two poems addressing the theme of self-discovery. They share a common trait where the discovery of one's own sexual identity is tied into the setting of school. Junior High (or Middle School in most places) is a terrible place to live through. You have two options: survive or succeed. Success are for those who are self-assured in puberty and are ready for high school. Survival are those who can make it out alive with all of their limbs and capacities in tact.


In "Innocence," you see two first year middle schoolers going through Health class. This is the class where you are taught to not to do drugs, booze, abstain from sex and stay healthy through your growth spurt. However, this is where self-discovery is put to the test. If you saw what it on page 134, what questions do you think the boys are asking themselves? Or, of each other?

Here's something to ponder: if anyone thinks that boys have it easier than girls when they go through puberty towards adulthood, they should really read this poem. Or, see "Kinsey,"

In "The Saga of Tony Berman," the litmus test of one's sexuality is played out in the most undemocratic of places on a middle school campus: the boy's locker room shower. Notice how many middle schools these days do not build a shower onto their facility? The reason is explained in this poem. This is also another reason why boys do not have it easier than girls through puberty.

As these are not entirely autobiographical, they are, in fact, a capsulation of experiences and observations from many of us who went through the process of self-identity through our own sexuality. Today, we are lucky that we have places where kids going through puberty can seek information and support for their sexual identity. In the Minneapolis-St. Paul area, District 202 stands as a "first stop" for all  gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered/questioning youth. For parents and other family members, P-FLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) is available for those coping with their children.

My point for these poems is a lesson I learned as an adult: seek support as early as possible and find positive role models that can motivate you towards self-acceptance and self-love. Seek allies and others who affirm that your existence is one worthy for the rest of the world.

No matter how you turned out, celebrate your life every day to the fullest!