Where Does it All Come From?

Originally Posted in June, 2005

Back in March, I was at the North Country Bears Bar Night at Trickx in Saint Paul when a friend announced that he wanted to do a reading of one of my poems at my release event for The Boy From Reseda.

At first, I was taken aback and tried to discourage him from doing so.

Then, I thought about it. He picked a poem that I have read a few times over the years and I can see him interpreting it to the humor and the situation it is set. Having someone read a piece and give it their spin on the meaning of the poem is actually what this is all about.


In May, Dan Adolphson, the Creative Director for Timbre, a locally-based men's vocal ensemble. did justice to "A Scene Off Of Gay.com." In fact, I think his interpretation of this poem was the highlight of that reading .

As I was setting up the readings, it prompted me to think where these poems came from. It also had me think how to explain why this poetry is radically different than what is out there. It is because of the experiences, issues and the temper of these pieces are what makes it different from most poetry. It doesn't have to rhyme, have a meter or utilize classic styles and formats to convey a message or an emotion. This is why these works were brought together.

Dan and his other half, Keith, asked whether it was my own experience that prompted "A Scene From Gay.com." Well, yes and no. When I wrote this in 2000, the bear subculture was still growing. People wanted to connect with other people that convey common interests and sexual attraction. Before there was a Transportation Security Act or Homeland Security, we were able to fly through airports to meet the man of our dreams only to waste credit cards and cash on the being rejected miles from home.

In retrospect, I started thinking about my own experience in relation to this. In 1995, I relocated from California to the Seattle-Tacoma area for a man that I met through an ad in a chubby/chaser porn magazine. I left a substitute teaching career and potential graduate school for what I thought was love. Needless to say, when I got there, I was rejected and subsequently thrown out. My friends in California helped me return back home to get back on track.

In all, it was an observation from many experiences, even today, of men wanting something and finding disappointment in the form of distance, miscommunication and insincerity. Perhaps the poem is a warning for those to not follow mine and other people's path towards "impending disaster."

This is just of several of the poems featured in my collection. I'm certain I'll be sharing a lot more insight on other pieces.

Peace.